"Humanity is just a virus with shoes."
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Quote collection
Bill Hicks quotes (page 10 of 14)
265 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"God has this...hobby. He creates perfection. This world is not perfect. We have to learn to separate illusions from reality."
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"I was in a cab in New York. The cab had a sign, "Please do not smoke, Christ is our unseen guest." This guy was reaching. I figure, if he could overcome being nailed to a cross, I don't think a Marlboro Light's gonna faze him that much."
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"I'm very tired of staring out into your vacant faces looking back at me. Wanting to fill your empty lives with humor you couldn't possibly think of yourself... Good evening!"
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"To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a big mistake."
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"I guess what surprised me the most was the discrepancy in casualties: Iraq, one hundred fifty thousand casualties, USA: seventy-nine! Let's go over those numbers again, they're a little baffling at first: Iraq: 150,000, USA: 79. Does that mean we could have won with only 80 guys there? Just one guy in a ticker-tape parade, "I did it! Hey!""
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"Surgeon General's warning ought to read: Smoking has been determined t0 cause cancer, heart disease & rednecks with seniority."
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"Ever notice that people who believe in creationism look really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. "I believe God created me in one day." Yeah, looks like he rushed it."
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"I don't identify with anyone historically, but there are several people in the future who I am a dead ringer for."
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"You're not a human till you're in my phone book. There. My hat is now in the political ring."
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"How about a positive LSD story? Wouldn't that be news-worthy, just the once? To base your decision on information rather than scare tactics and superstition and lies? I think it would be news-worthy."
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"Writing, acting, music, comedy. A deep love of literature and books. Thank God for all the artists who've helped me."
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"People in the United Kingdom and outside the United States share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn't share with itself."
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"I began working quite young, writing, growing, maturing, always striving to top myself - to make people laugh hard at things they know and believe deep in their hearts to be true."
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"This is the idea that has made me...an anonymous figure in America...If you have children here tonight...they are NOT special."
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"I've said all that I've had to say."
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"I was a weekend drinker...I'd start on Saturday, end on Friday...thought I was controlling it...but I don't drink any more."
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"Let's do some comedy. I always like to add some comedy to my show. Those who've seen me before might know that."
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"I saw a sign on the side of the road in Tennessee once that said 'dirt for sale'... what a great country we live in. DIRT for sale. How would you like to get inside that guy's mind and look around for a hour? That guy sees opportunity at every glance, doesn't he?"
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"And if I can take part in it by transforming my own consciousness, then someone else's, I'm happy to do it."
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