"I...am an evolved being who deals solely with the source of light...in all of us in our own minds. No middleman required."
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Quote collection
Bill Hicks quotes (page 9 of 14)
265 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"If I thought the Jews killed God, I'd worship the Jews."
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"I've had seven balls of light come off a UFO...explain to me telepathically we are all one and there's no such thing as death."
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"So, it's good to be here, wherever I am."
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"How come people always flip and think they're Jesus? Why not Buddha? Particularly in America, where more people resemble Buddha than Jesus. 'Ah'm BUDDHA!' 'You're Bubba!' 'Ah'm Buddha now..All I gotta do is change 3 letters on ma belt."
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"Why is pot against the law? It wouldn't be because anyone can grow it, and therefore you can't make a profit off it, would it?"
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"I can speak for every guy in this room here tonight. Guys, if you could blow yourselves, ladies, you'd be in this room alone right now. Watching an empty stage."
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"I was over in Australia during Easter, which was really interesting. You know, they celebrate Easter the exact same way we do, commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus by telling our children that a giant bunny rabbit left chocolate eggs in the night. Now I wonder why we're f-ked up as a race. I've read the Bible. I can't find the word "bunny" or "chocolate" anywhere in the f-king book."
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"People are bringing SHOTGUNS to UFO sightings...brings a whole new meaning to that phrase 'You ain't from around here, ar'ya?'"
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"If ur going to have a war on drugs, have them against ALL drugs, including alcohol, the number one offender."
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"What before seemed a...frustrating wall, the comic deftly and fearlessly steps through, proving the absurdity of it all."
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"In the beginning God created the heavans and the earth... see you at the final."
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"BTW A 24 week old embryo is not a human being. You're not a human being until you're in my phone book."
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"But where did this veneration of childbirth come from? I missed that meeting. Childbirth is wonderful, childbirth is a miracle. Wrong. It's no more a miracle than eating food and a turd coming out your ass."
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"Billy Ray Cyrus does not smoke. Michael Bolton doesn't...Paula Abdul doesn't...there does seem to be a pattern."
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"The world's like a ride in a fairground & when you choose to go on it you think it's real, that's how powerful our minds are"
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"Ultimately, it is in fun. It is supposed to be highly entertaining."
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"I wouldn't give Satan a snowball's chance in Hell against a woman's ego."
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"The role of the comedian is to say 'Wait a minute' when a consensus starts to form."
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"I am available for children's parties, by the way."
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