"To me, Texas is Austin, a bunch of cool people trying to make a difference."
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Quote collection
Bill Hicks quotes (page 11 of 14)
265 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"I used to love to call L.A. when I lived in New York... Is that the Big One I hear in the background? Bye, you lizard scum! Bye!"
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"I do not believe making money in order to consume goods is mankind's sole purpose on this planet."
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"Good comedy helps people know they're not alone. Great comedy provides an answer."
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"We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?"
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"What's gonna happen to the arms industry when we realize we're all one. Ha ha ha ha ha! It's gonna fuck up the economy! The economy that's fake anyway! Ha ha ha! Which would be a real bummer. You know. You can see why the government's cracking down... on the idea of experiencing unconditional love, ah."
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"I just have one of those faces. People come up to me and say, 'What's wrong?' Nothing. 'Well, it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile.' Yeah, you know it takes more energy to point that out than it does to leave me alone?"
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"The CIA has a plot...they've used before to get rid of world leaders. Only problem...is convincing Hussein...to fly to Dallas."
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"Is it impossible to imagine Americans sneaking into Mexico en masse, seeking regular employment and a better way of life?"
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"It seems to me that there will be a point in out development or our evolution where you put your guns aside."
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"The definition of black irony is Pro-lifers killing Doctors who do abortions"
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"We killed 6 innocent people, launching 22, I think $3 million apiece missiles on Baghdad...that's a little bit overdoing it."
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"I love talking about the Kennedy assassination. The reason I do is because I'm fascinated by it. I'm fascinated that our government could lie to us so blatantly, so obviously for so long, and we do absolutely nothing about it."
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"I'm sorry if any of you are Catholic. I'm not sorry if you're offended, I'm actually just sorry by the fact that you're Catholic."
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"I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution. OK, not the most popular idea ever expressed. Either that or you're all real high and agreeing with me in the only way you can right now. (Starts blinking)"
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"Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! ... That's the story of Jesus."
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"Rock stars hawking Diet Cokes--are demons set loose on the Earth to lower the standards for the perfect & holy children of God!"
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"See we just had a misunderstanding. I thought we lived in the U.S. of A., the United States of America. But actually we live in the U.S. of A., the United States of Advertising. Freedom of expression is guaranteed? If you've got the money!"
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"[Comedy] is an escape from illusions. The audience is...thinking, 'This bullshit we see and hear all day makes no sense.'"
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"On the theft of his material by Denis Leary: "I have a scoop for you. I stole his act. I camouflaged it with punchlines, and to really throw people off, I did it before he did.""
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