"Dinosaur fossils were placed in rocks by prankster God just to make human beings think the world is older than it is."
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Quote collection
Bill Hicks quotes (page 13 of 14)
265 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"You ever notice that everyone who believes in creationism looks really un-evolved?"
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"I've been on what I call my UFO Tour, which means, like UFOs, I too have been appearing in small southern towns in front of a handful of hillbillies lately."
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"Marijuana grows naturally...Don't you think making nature against the law seems a bit, I don't know, unnatural?"
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"People in the U.K. share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn't share with itself. They have a sense of irony, which America doesn't have, seeing as it's being run by fundamentalists who take things literally."
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"Are gun rights advocates arguing that roving gangs...shooting innocent bystanders constitutes a 'well-regulated militia'?"
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"We are one with God and He loves us. Now if that isn't a hazard to this country-How're we gonna keep building nuclear weapons?"
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"I'm not into those kind of rivalries. I remember standing out in front of Stratford, minding my own business. Carload of about eighty kids would pull up: 'STRATFORD SUCKS!' Am I supposed to run after these guys? I'd just stand there, you know. They'd back up. 'STRATFORD SUCKS! ...STRATFORD SUCKS!' I'd say, 'I know. I go there. You're wasting gas, man."
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"I don't know what you all believe, and I don't really care ... but you have to admit that beliefs are odd. Lots of Christians wear crosses around their necks ... you really think when Jesus comes back, he ever wants to see a fucking cross?"
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"It's you people dying from nothing that are screwed. I got all sorts of neat gadgets waiting for me...oxygen tent, iron lung."
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"I'm totally confused about what I'm going to do with my life."
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"Right foot, left foot, hemorrhage."
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"Sometimes you feel in control, and it's great, but sometimes you just don't feel in control and you really have to struggle to get laughs."
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"Okay, I got one word to ask you, a one word question, ready?"
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"I'm just skin covering coffee and some real nervous teeth."
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"We'll see who believes in me now. I am the Prankster God - I am killing me!"
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"And I'm not getting laid! What am I doing wrong?"
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"That's what I'm gonna do: quit gradually...I'm gonna lose one lung; little while later I'm gonna lose the other one."
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"How many of y'all wondered, like I did, during the LA riots when those people were being pulled out of their trucks and beaten half to death - step on the f***ing gas, man! They're on foot, you're in a truck - I think I see a way out of this."
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"You all saw him - he had a gun."
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