"It's hard for a man to turn down sex... if they chase us, we can't run that fast."
Read quote
3 likes
Quote collection
Chris Rock quotes (page 10 of 17)
334 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"You know, you get famous and you work in these weird jobs and you don't have a lot in common with people. But once you have kids, you have everything in common with everybody."
Read quote
3 likes
"Oprah is rich; Bill Gates is wealthy. If Bill Gates woke up tomorrow with Oprah's money, he'd jump out of a window and slit his throat on the way down saying, 'I can't even put gas in my plane!'"
Read quote
3 likes
"I do what I can do when I can do it."
Read quote
3 likes
"When you die at 72, no matter what you die of, it's natural causes. Even if you get hit by a truck, it's natural causes. 'Cause if you was younger, you'd have got out the way!"
Read quote
3 likes
"I had always been - everybody kind of likes comedy. I was very interested in comedy, beyond just liking it. I had friends that took apart radios; I wanted to take apart jokes."
Read quote
3 likes
"I'm looking forward to not being tired around my child. My father was tired a lot. I want to play ball with my child without having to grab my shoulder because I'm not physically fit. And I want to really teach my child and become his or her friend."
Read quote
3 likes
"The two best things you can do for a person is have sex or make them laugh."
Read quote
3 likes
"Community college is like a disco with books: "Here's ten dollars; let me get my learn on!""
Read quote
3 likes
"For me, anything goes when I pick up a mike. I'm not trying to hurt people - I try not to get too personal - but I look at myself as a reporter. If you can report on anything that has to do with pop culture, then why can't I make jokes about it? Yes, it hurts. But I figure that laughter sometimes starts from pain. You might wince, but then I know that I'm doing my job. The only thing I can do wrong is not be funny."
Read quote
3 likes
"Why do people do yoga? To clear their minds? I embrace the clutter in my head."
Read quote
3 likes
"Do you know what the good side of crack is? If you're up at the right hour, you can get a VCR for $1.50. You can furnish your whole house for $10.95."
Read quote
3 likes
"Tomorrow is more sure than just about anything else in the entire world."
Read quote
3 likes
"I think it's better to have ideas."
Read quote
3 likes
"I'm old enough to remember when there were no black quarterbacks - there were no blacks on TV. I hope my son or daughter doesn't have to be as fixated on race as I am, because he or she will grow up in freer times."
Read quote
3 likes
"My dad worked every day. I didn't get into show business to work every day. So the fact that most days I get to like, spend really good time with my kids - that's what success is to me."
Read quote
3 likes
"I got love from my family. I don't really need love from a paper, you know what I mean? I can't get too happy because somebody said something nice about me. I appreciate it, but let's not get it twisted - this is not changing my life."
Read quote
3 likes
"When you've been on a ghetto diet your entire life, you're just happy to get a large soda instead of a medium."
Read quote
3 likes
"My mother is the kind of woman you don't want to be in line behind at the supermarket. She has coupons for coupons."
Read quote
3 likes
"Farrakhan got everybody together for the Million Man March and everything. But Farrakhan don't like the Jews. Which is bugged. I get my hair cut on Dekalb Avenue. I never been in a barbershop and heard a bunch of brothers talking about Jews. Black people don't hate Jews. Black people hate white people! We don't got time to dice white people up into little groups. I hate everybody! I don't care if you just got here. "Hey, I'm Romanian." "You Romanian cracker!""
Read quote
3 likes