"Happy white peoples independence day the slaves weren't free but I'm sure they enjoyed fireworks."
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Quote collection
Chris Rock quotes (page 3 of 17)
334 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four."
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"You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense"
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"If you’re a black Christian, you have a real short memory."
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"Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special."
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"Hollywood's racist. Hollywood is sorority racist. It's like - we like you, Rhonda, but you're not a Kappa."
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"One of my daughters told me the other day, "Kevin Hart is funnier than you, Daddy." I told her, "Does Kevin Hart make you pancakes?""
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"Pretty girls have problems too."
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"A black man will be elected President of the United States. I'm sorry, that's in the year 10,000."
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"I've seen women who don't have great relationships with their dads, and it all comes down to this: You have to tell girls you love them every day."
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"I literally don't know what I'm going to do next. That's successful."
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"Just to be clear, Ray Rice was not fired for beating his wife. He was fired because a video of him beating his wife was released."
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"I'm never proper or careful, but I never curse in front of my mother, either."
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"When you have kids, there's no such thing as quality time. There's just time. There's no, 'Ooh, his graduation's better than going to the mall.' It's all kind of equal. Changing her diaper and her winning a contest - it's all good."
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"I was raised to believe that you had to do things better than white people in order to succeed. The old black shows were better than the white shows. "The Jeffersons" (1975) was a lot better. "Good Times" (1974) was way funnier. "Sanford and Son" (1972). Now, though, everyone thinks we're equal, so we submit the same shit that everyone else submits. And then we get mad when they won't air it. You got to go back to the old attitude of it has to be twice as good."
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"Even if you meet the perfect person, it ain’t gonna be at the perfect time. You’re married, they’re single. That’s right. You’re Jewish, they’re Palestinian. You’re a Mexican, they’re a raccoon. You’re a black woman, he’s a black man."
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"Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!"
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"Nobody ever says, 'Hey daddy, thanks for knockin' out this rent.' 'Hey daddy, I sure love this hot water.' 'Hey daddy, it's easy to read with all this light.' Nobody give a fk about dads!"
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"A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House."
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"After I left high school and got my GED, I studied broadcast journalism for a year at a community college."
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