George Carlin

George Carlin

Comedian, Actor

George Carlin was a groundbreaking stand-up comedian known for his incisive social commentary and critiques of language, politics, and morality.

Funny People Thinking Humor Humorous Stupid
Born
May 12, 1937
Died
June 22, 2008
Quotes
976
Rank
#448

Quote collection

George Carlin quotes (page 47 of 49)

976 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.

George Carlin Comedian, Actor
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"Most of the note-taking happens while I'm watching television. It's a broad window on the world, and a lot of things are already established in my mind as things I say, things that I'm interested in, things that are fodder for my [stand-up] machine. And when I see something that relates to one of them, I know it instantly and if it's a further exaggeration and a further addition, or an exception - if it plays into furthering my purpose, I jot it down."

Play Mind Television
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George Carlin Comedian, Actor
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"To my surprise, my marijuana use has been tapering off steadily."

Marijuana Use Tapering
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George Carlin Comedian, Actor
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"I was a stonehead for 30 years. I'd wake up in the morning and if I couldn't decide whether I wanted a joint or not, I'd smoke a joint to figure it out. And I stayed high all day long."

Morning Years Long
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George Carlin Comedian, Actor
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"In my neighborhood - West 121st Street in New York, "white Harlem" - there were only two drugs: smack and marijuana. By the time I was 13, some friends and I were using marijuana fairly regularly. The Reefer Madness myth was still very strong then, but I'd been into jazz and those lyrics included so many casual references to pot that it was completely demystified for me."

Strong New York Marijuana
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George Carlin Comedian, Actor
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"There are an awful lot of things in the cut of street drugs that eventually make you sick. I reached a point where the skin around the edges of my fingernails used to hurt all the time. And it would peel away easily. Now, that must have been from some poison in the cut."

Hurt Cutting Sick
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George Carlin Comedian, Actor
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"The writing is what gives me the joy, especially editing myself for the page, and getting something ready to show to the editors, and then to have a first draft and get it back and work to fix it, I love reworking, I love editing, love love love revision, revision, revision, revision."

Writing Editing Editors
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George Carlin Comedian, Actor
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"The person who is most a part of me is the performer, is the standup, the guy who says, "Hey look at me, listen to this!" I do that because that's what I do, I love doing it."

Guy Looks Hey
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George Carlin Comedian, Actor
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"I was kind of sweet kid, according my mother, and my recollections. Thoughtful and good, but kind of alone - although I didn't interpret it that way, as such. Children never interpret these things. They think they understand logically."

Mother Sweet Children
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George Carlin Comedian, Actor
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"Because Brenda [Carlin] had a drinking problem along with the coke, she had to hit bottom first. Most alcoholics do. And for her, bottom was an automobile accident that almost landed her in jail."

Drinking Jail Coke
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"I think there's a little more attention to human needs than to property rights. But I don't think much of political activism. It's so shortsighted. Most people are interested in their own personal comfort. I've said that about environmentalists. I think they care about bike paths and places to park their Volvos, not the planet as an abstraction."

Thinking Rights People
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George Carlin Comedian, Actor
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"You're really spread out now, you've got stuff all over the WORLD! You've got stuff at home, stuff in storage, stuff in Honolulu, stuff in Maui, stuff in your pockets...supply lines are getting longer and harder to maintain."

Home Pockets World
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George Carlin Comedian, Actor
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"I always have these little internal monologues. You'll get used to them."

Littles Used Monologues
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George Carlin Comedian, Actor
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"In terms of coke, the only money I ever thought about was that dollar bill I had stuck up my nose."

Dollar Bills Dollars Noses
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George Carlin Comedian, Actor
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"I grew up in New York wanting to be like those funny men in the movies and on the radio."

New York Men Radio
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"Sometimes, after I'd gone at the coke like one of those snow plows moving up First Avenue, I'd think my heart was over on the dresser, pounding, and I was watching it. I asked some of the doctors who drifted through the intensive-care unit what kind of effect total cocaine abuse has on the heart and they said things like, "Well, there's not enough valid information...." That kind of answer."

Moving Heart Thinking
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George Carlin Comedian, Actor
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"First I was a mimic. Practically from the moment I began talking, I did impersonations of the people in my neighborhood - the storekeepers, the policemen, my teachers."

Teacher Talking People
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George Carlin Comedian, Actor
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"I always knew I could hold people's attention and make them laugh every 30 or 40 seconds, and I got approval and attention for that, so the behavior was reinforced. Later, that became an important skill on the street corner."

Skills People Laughing
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