"Most people with low self-esteem have earned it."
Humorous quotes
Humorous
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Humorous quotes (page 21 of 81)
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"Being seventy is not a sin. It's not a joy, either."
"Never have children, only grandchildren."
"You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff."
"In France, for example, it is not unusual for a husband to have a wife and a mistress. However, if in addition to these two he's also having a fling with a fringe tootsie, both the wife and the mistress are outraged and the combination lover, husband, and cheat may well wind up with a large French bread knife between his ribs."
"My plans are still in embryo, a town on the edge of wishful thinking."
"Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!"
"Any place I hang my head is home."
"I know a member of one of New York's first families (first as you drive up Tenth Avenue)"
"And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!"
"Imitation is the sincerest form of television."
"I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there."
"Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes."
"Life's too short for chess."
"To succeed in the other trades, capacity must be shown; in the law, concealment of it will do."
"We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and it's efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read-"
"By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean."
"I could have become a soldier if I had waited; I knew more about retreating than the man who invented retreating."
"The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French. The humorous story depends for its effect upon the manner of the telling;the comic and the witty story upon the matter."
"The Lord gave us farmers two strong hands so we could grab as much as we could with both of them."