"He who hesitates is a damned fool."
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Humorous quotes
Humorous
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Humorous quotes (page 19 of 81)
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"Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun."
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"A doctor's reputation is made by the number of eminent men who die under his care."
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"I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it."
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"There is nothing the matter with Americans except their ideals. The real American is all right; it is the ideal American who is all wrong."
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"I don't want to have a bad influence on anybody, but there's no point in my giving up cigarettes now. I won't die young."
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"Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you're probably watching the wrong channel."
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"I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30."
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"I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- unless he purposely shut the eyes of his mind & keep them shut by force."
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"The funniest things are the forbidden."
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"We're wanted men, we'll strike again, but first let's have a beer."
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"I observe the physician with the same diligence as the disease."
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"The best actors do not let the wheels show."
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"One son appears in stereo - a transistor in one ear and the phone in the other."
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"The best doctor is the one you run to and can't find."
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"The Christian church is a society of sinners. It is the only society in the world membership in which is based upon the single qualification that the candidate shall be unworthy of membership."
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"Some medical beast had revived tar-water in those days as a fine medicine, and Mrs. Joe always kept a supply of it in the cupboard; having a belief in its virtues correspondent to its nastiness. At the best of times, so much of this elixir was administered to me as a choice restorative, that I was conscious of going about, smelling like a new fence."
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"Quebec from the boat looked like the ramparts where Hamlet's ghost might have walked."
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"Manage by responsibility.It is a powerful way to grow people."
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"Man usually avoids attributing cleverness to somebody else unless it is an enemy."
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