"The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage."
"Humor is very very risky, particularly for a candidate, unless he's been in so long that it just doesn't matter, and he's not running for president. But it's just that people are so sensitive and so touchy, and you're just going to upset somebody without ever realizing it."
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More quotes by Mark Russell
"The way money goes so fast these days, they should paint racing stripes on it."
"Believe me when I say that Bill Clinton's second term will be good for business. My business."
"You've got the brain-washed, that's the Democrats, and the brain-dead, that's the Republicans!"
"I think you can't write with anger. I think it always has to be with a wink. There always has to be an element of hope in what you write. Otherwise you're just getting mad and it's not going to be fun for anybody."
"People are not in a good mood when any politician's face appears on television."