"The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage."
"I think you can't write with anger. I think it always has to be with a wink. There always has to be an element of hope in what you write. Otherwise you're just getting mad and it's not going to be fun for anybody."
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More quotes by Mark Russell
"The way money goes so fast these days, they should paint racing stripes on it."
"Believe me when I say that Bill Clinton's second term will be good for business. My business."
"You've got the brain-washed, that's the Democrats, and the brain-dead, that's the Republicans!"
"People are not in a good mood when any politician's face appears on television."
"I squirm when I see athletes praying before a game. Don't they realize that if God took sports seriously he never would have created George Steinbrenner."