"The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage."
"The thing that you're faulted on today is not that you are too tough, or not that you aren't careful. It's that you might have been too soft. People want that red meat now because you have to keep up with the mood and the mood today is harsh. It really is."
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More quotes by Mark Russell
"The way money goes so fast these days, they should paint racing stripes on it."
"Believe me when I say that Bill Clinton's second term will be good for business. My business."
"You've got the brain-washed, that's the Democrats, and the brain-dead, that's the Republicans!"
"I think you can't write with anger. I think it always has to be with a wink. There always has to be an element of hope in what you write. Otherwise you're just getting mad and it's not going to be fun for anybody."
"People are not in a good mood when any politician's face appears on television."