"The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage."
"You have the establishment and then you have the hippies revolting against the establishment, and what you end up getting are like accountants with long hair. And that's kind of what happened with the youth movement in the '70s."
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More quotes by Mark Russell
"The way money goes so fast these days, they should paint racing stripes on it."
"Believe me when I say that Bill Clinton's second term will be good for business. My business."
"You've got the brain-washed, that's the Democrats, and the brain-dead, that's the Republicans!"
"I think you can't write with anger. I think it always has to be with a wink. There always has to be an element of hope in what you write. Otherwise you're just getting mad and it's not going to be fun for anybody."
"People are not in a good mood when any politician's face appears on television."