“We act as if that being of a man or that being of a woman is actually an internal reality or something that is simply true about us, a fact about us, but actually its a phenomenon that is being produced all the time and reproduced all the time, so to say gender is performative is to say that nobody really is a gender from the start.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 14 of 1263
“No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office.”
“Masculine and feminine roles are not biologically fixed but socially constructed.”
“When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.”
“Laughter is the language of the soul.”
“I know who I am. I'm a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude.”
“Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet.”
“I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.”
“It takes all the fun out of a bracelet if you have to buy it yourself.”
“If you get all tangled up, just tango on.”
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.”
“Whenever the devil harasses you, seek the company of men or drink more, or joke and talk nonsense, or do some other merry thing. Sometimes we must drink more, sport, recreate ourselves, and even sin a little to spite the devil, so that we leave him no place for troubling our consciences with trifles. We are conquered if we try too conscientiously not to sin at all. So when the devil says to you: do not drink, answer him: I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to.”
“We're sitting in here, and I'm supposed to be the franchise player, and we in here talking about practice. I mean, listen, we're talking about practice, not a game, not a game, not a game, we talking about practice. Not a game. Not, not... Not the game that I go out there and die for and play every game like it's my last. Not the game, but we're talking about practice, man. I mean, how silly is that?.. And we talking about practice. I know I supposed to be there. I know I'm supposed to lead by example... I know that... And I'm not... I'm not shoving it aside, you know, like it don't mean anything. I know it's important, I do. I honestly do... But we're talking about practice man. What are we talking about? Practice? We're talking about practice, man.”
“The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps!”
“Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?”
“Don't try to win over the haters; you are not a jackass whisperer.”
“Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it.”
“The more I see of men, the better I like my dog.”
“Most people can't bear to sit in church for an hour on Sundays. How are they supposed to live somewhere very similar to it for eternity?”
“It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.”