“Watch out for the joy-stealers: gossip, criticism, complaining, faultfinding, and a negative, judgmental attitude.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 12 of 1263
“Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow - that is patience. The two most powerful warriors are patience and time.”
“Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?”
“Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, but don't swallow.”
“Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously.”
“You have to go on and be crazy. Craziness is like heaven.”
“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.”
“The hardest thing of all is to find a black cat in a dark room, especially if there is no cat.”
“The gin and tonic has saved more Englishmen's lives, and minds, than all the doctors in the Empire.”
“A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.”
“Everybody think they're famous when they get 100,000 followers on Instagram and 5,000 on Twitter.”
“What this country needs is more unemployed politicians.”
“We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.”
“It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.”
“I was so drunk last night I fell down and missed the floor.”
“Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”
“When I was a kid, I said to my father one afternoon, 'Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?' He answered, 'If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you.”
“Donald Trump is the Honey Boo Boo of rich people.”
“No matter if it is a white cat or a black cat; as long as it can catch mice, it is a good cat.”
“Vanity: my favorite sin.”