“Power always thinks... that it is doing God's service when it is violating all his laws.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 13 of 1263
“When you want to fool the world, tell the truth.”
“Only small minds want always to be right.”
“If I had one wish I would ask for a big enough ass for the whole world to kiss.”
“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
“I don't need an Iron Man suit. I'm already a weapon of mass seduction.”
“Sometimes in this life, under the stress of an exceptional emotion, people do say what they think.”
“Your dog thinks you're a god. Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole.”
“Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.”
“The government, which was designed for the people, has got into the hands of the bosses and their employers, the special interests. An invisible empire has been set up above the forms of democracy.”
“I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.”
“If you want to control a population... give them a God to worship.”
“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”
“I've waffled before. I'll waffle again.”
“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”
“If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they're happy.”
“Since I entered politics, I have chiefly had men's views confided to me privately. Some of the biggest men in the United States, in the field of commerce and manufacture, are afraid of somebody, are afraid of something. They know that there is a power somewhere so organized, so subtle, so watchful, so interlocked, so complete, so pervasive, that they had better not speak above their breath when they speak in condemnation of it.”
“The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is because vampires are allergic to bullshit.”
“At sea, I learned how little a person needs, not how much.”
“The whole educational and professional training system is a very elaborate filter, which just weeds out people who are too independent, and who think for themselves, and who don't know how to be submissive, and so on -- because they're dysfunctional to the institutions.”