“Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 225 of 1263
“A loafer always has the correct time.”
“Some fellows get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid.”
“Just once I'd like someone to call me 'Sir' without adding 'You're making a scene.'”
“As men get older, the toys get more expensive.”
“Every word she writes is a lie, including "and" and "the."”
“Never let the guy with the broom decide how many elephants can be in the parade.”
“Wit and humor do not reside in slow minds.”
“Foreign visitors . . . how impressed you all are with foreign visitors! But they come in many different varieties.”
“I don't look like no kiwi bird”
“Mansell is slowing it down, taking it easy. Oh, no he isn't! It's a lap record.”
“I don't like people who take drugs... Customs men for example.”
“Slice and Dice, Slice and Dice”
“A man without pleasure is a man without any idea what life is about”
“All tragedies are finished by a death, All comedies are ended by a marriage.”
“I'm a doctor of cowshit, pigshit, and chickenshit.....when you doctors figure out what you want, you'll find me out in the barn shoveling my thesis.”
“You know everyone loves to be the villain.”
“Men are always ready to die for us, but not to make our lives worth having. Cheap sentiment and bad logic.”
“People either have comedy or they don't. You can't teach it to them.”
“Logic! Good gracious! What rubbish!”