“An egotist is not a man who thinks too much of himself; he is a man who thinks too little of other people.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 237 of 1263
“It's very inexpensive to give a compliment.”
“The function of education has never been to free the mind and the spirit of man, but to bind them; and to the end that the mind and spirit of his children should never escape, Homo Sapiens has employed praise, ridicule, admonition, accusation, mutilation, and even torture to chain them to the culture pattern.”
“Indeed it may be only by risking the incoherence of identity that connection is possible.”
“Coffee on an airplane always smells bad. Whenever it is served, suddenly the whole cabin stinks of it.”
“I'm Johnny Christ, and I play the tambourine.”
“I used to have six left feet. Now I only have one and a half left feet.”
“The squid is so cooperative. Its body forms a tube that can be stuffed with marvelous fillings. You don't have to be Greek to enjoy this one.”
“It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the earth once they inherit it.”
“The major problem of life is learning how to handle the costly interruptions.”
“If I am not allowed to laugh in heaven, I don't want to go there.”
“When they called my name, I had this feeling I could hear half of America going, 'Oh no. Come on... Her, again?' You know. But, whatever.”
“Hollywood is like being nowhere and talking to nobody about nothing.”
“Only last week I murdered a rock, injured a stone and hospitalized a brick.”
“Unless I am very much mistaken...I AM very much mistaken...!”
“I am a disaster magnet. I came home from our first anniversary vacation with jellyfish stings, a puncture wound from a wrought iron pineapple and a cork-shaped bruise in my cleavage.”
“Somebody gets into trouble, then gets out of it again. People love that story. They never get tired of it.”
“If your brains were dynamite there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off.”
“Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness.”
“Political poetry is more profoundly emotional than any other-at least as much as love poetry-and cannot be forced because then it becomes vulgar and unacceptable. It is necessary first to pan though all other poetry in order to become a political poet.”