“Dont think money does everything or you are going to end up doing everything for money.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 8 of 1263
“Republicans believe every day is the Fourth of July, but the democrats believe every day is April 15.”
“Listen, smile, agree, then do whatever you were going to do anyway.”
“Whoever called snooker "chess with balls" was rude, but right.”
“In a theatre it happened that a fire started off stage. The clown came out to tell the audience. They thought it was a joke and applauded. He told them again, and they became still more hilarious. This is the way, I suppose, that the world will be destroyed-amid the universal hilarity of wits and wags who think it is all a joke.”
“Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well.”
“They've promised that dreams can come true - but forgot to mention that nightmares are dreams, too.”
“I drink to make other people more interesting.”
“The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for.”
“Sometimes The Devil is a gentleman.”
“The only shame in masturbation is the shame of not doing it well.”
“Reality whistles a different tune underwater.”
“Women say they want a man who knows what a woman's worth. That's a pimp.”
“It's only because of their stupidity that they're able to be so sure of themselves.”
“Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.”
“Don't be afraid to show your light.. If it ends up being too much for people.. tell them to wear sunglasses!”
“The thing about smart people is that they seem like crazy people to dumb people.”
“It's those changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes nothing remains quite the same. With all of our running and all of our cunning, if we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane.”
“The height of stupidity is most clearly demonstrated by the individual who ridicules something he knows nothing about.”
“If the physical thing you're doing is funny, you don't have to act funny while doing it...Just be real and it will be funnier”