“The suspense is terrible. I hope it'll last.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 6 of 1263
“Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics and your opponent will do it for you.”
“You ultimately judge the civility of a society not by how it treats the rich, the powerful, the protected and the highly esteemed, but by how it treats the poor, the disfavored and the disadvantaged.”
“If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.”
“Nothing in this world is harder than speaking the truth, nothing easier than flattery.”
“Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”
“Against a dark sky, all flowers look like fireworks.”
“I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed!”
“If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?”
“One day ladies will take their computers for walks in the park and tell each other, "My little computer said such a funny thing this morning".”
“Real gs move in silence like lasagna.”
“Believe only half of what you see and nothing that you hear.”
“Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.”
“A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest”
“Life is all about moments. No one in history has ever been able to hold on to one.”
“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.”
“Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different.”
“Critics are men who watch a battle from a high place then come down and shoot the survivors.”
“It's the action, not the fruit of the action, that's important. You have to do the right thing. It may not be in your power, may not be in your time, that there'll be any fruit. But that doesn't mean you stop doing the right thing. You may never know what results come from your action. But if you do nothing, there will be no result.”
“If we cannot have moral feelings against homosexuality, can we have it against murder? Can we have it against other things?”