"The longer you verk here, diverse it gets."
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Quote collection
Scott Adams quotes (page 5 of 14)
267 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"Recently I quit caffeine. My doctor seems to think that 17 Diet Cokes per day is too much. In case you ever consider getting off caffeine yourself, let me explain the process. You begin by sitting motionlessly in a desk chair. Then you just keep doing that forever because life has no meaning."
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"When did ignorance become a point of view?"
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"We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far."
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"As a rule, I don't like to laugh at the misfortune of others. The exception to that rule is if it's really, really funny."
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"Science is a good thing. News reporters are good things too. But it's never a good idea to put them in the same room."
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"I get mail; therefore I am."
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"If I liked food and disliked exercise as much as a 400 pound guy, I'd be a 400 pound guy."
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"Blogging is like work, but without coworkers thwarting you at every turn."
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"I believe everybody in the world should have guns. Citizens should have bazookas and rocket launchers too. I believe that all citizens should have their weapons of choice. However, I also believe that only I should have the ammunition. Because frankly, I wouldn't trust the rest of the goobers with anything more dangerous than string."
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"There's kind of a toll you have to pay with a cat; if you don't pet her for 10 minutes she'll bother you for six hours."
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"To err is human. To cover it up is weasel."
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"No matter how many times I visit New York City, I am always struck by the same thing - a yellow taxicab."
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"We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings."
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"'Dilbert' became popular during the downsizing of the '90s, and job security was a major theme of the strip."
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"The day you realize that your efforts and rewards are not related, it really frees up your calendar."
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"Good advertising can make people buy your product even if it sucks ... A dollar spent on brainwashing is more cost-effective than a dollar spent on product improvement."
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"People are so conditioned to take sides that a balanced analysis looks to them like hatred."
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"Mockery is an important social tool for squelching stupidity. I’ve never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I’ve seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked."
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"In case the rest of you missed it, the inspirational speech was: 'If you work hard, you can achieve great things. And then you die'."
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