"Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert's Motto"
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Quote collection
Scott Adams quotes (page 3 of 14)
267 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge."
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"We know the goats are imported because they don't speak English."
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"Technology will definitely solve all our problems, but in the process it will create brand new ones. But that's O.K. because the most you can expect from life is to get to solve better and better problems."
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"Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that in the future, scientists will learn how to convert stupidity into clean fuel."
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"Reality is always controlled by the people who are the most insane."
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"There are always deadlines I have to meet. I don't let myself get too close to the deadlines, so it's not like I'm just sweating bullets or anything if the clock is ticking. I never let myself get in that situation."
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"On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key."
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"The source of all unhappiness is other people. As soon as you learn to think of other people as noisy furniture, the sooner you will be happy. - Wally's Keynote Speech"
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"The Cheesecake Factory is a great business model, but if you take your wife there for your 25th wedding anniversary, you might not reach your 26th."
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"The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management."
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"I'm slowly becoming a convert to the principle that you can't motivate people to do things, you can only demotivate them. The primary job of the manager is not to empower but to remove obstacles."
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"Remember, freedom is always taken, never given."
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"Hard work is rewarding. Taking credit for other people's hard work is rewarding and faster."
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"There is no idea so bad that it cannot be made to look brilliant with the proper application of fonts and color."
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"You're thinking I'm one of those wise-ass California vegetarians who is going to tell you that eating a few strips of bacon is bad for your health. I'm not. I say its a free country and you should be able to kill yourself at any rate you choose, as long as your cold dead body is not blocking my driveway."
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"The human population is 90% gullible, violence-prone dipshits."
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"The first time you see something that you have never seen before, you almost always know right away if you should eat it or run away from it."
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"Most success springs from an obstacle or failure."
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"You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public."
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