"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese"
"I heard that in relativity theory, space and time are the same thing. Einstein discovered this when he kept showing up three miles late for his meetings."
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Source: The Secret of All Art by James Altucher, www.huffingtonpost.com. August 3, 2015.
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More quotes by Steven Wright
"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"
"To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research."
"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?"
"I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."