"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese"
"You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor."
8 likes
Source: I Have A Pony. Comedy album by Steven Wright, 1985.
About the author
Same author
More quotes by Steven Wright
"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"
"To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research."
"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?"
"I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."