"It isn't what I do, but how I do it. It isn't what I say, but how I say it, and how I look when I do it and say it."
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Witty quotes
Witty
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Witty quotes (page 26 of 71)
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"I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it."
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"When all by myself, I can think of all kinds of clever remarks, quick comebacks to what no one said, and flashes of witty sociability with nobody. But all of this vanishes when I face someone in the flesh: I lose my intelligence, I can no longer speak, and after half an hour I just feel tired. Talking to people makes me feel like sleeping. Only my ghostly and imaginary friends, only the conversations I have in my dreams, are genuinely real and substantial."
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"If you want to be witty, say what you think at all times"
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"No woman should ever be quite accurate about her age. It looks so calculating."
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"Women, as some witty Frenchman once put it, inspire us with the desire to do masterpieces and always prevent us from carrying them out."
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"I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself."
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"I've been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out."
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"Laugh not too much; the witty man laughs least: For wit is news only to ignorance. Lesse at thine own things laugh; lest in the jest Thy person share, and the conceit advance."
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"I'd like to start a religion. That's where the money is."
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"You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff."
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"If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong."
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"My plans are still in embryo, a town on the edge of wishful thinking."
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"Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does."
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"Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!"
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"John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight."
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"The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar."
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"Any place I hang my head is home."
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"And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!"
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"Imitation is the sincerest form of television."
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