"I'm not a drinker, my body won't tolerate...eh...spirits, really. I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hi-jack an elevator and fly it to Cuba."
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Witty quotes
Witty
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Witty quotes (page 24 of 71)
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"You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ."
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"Promise, large promise, is the soul of an advertisement."
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"A witty saying proves nothing."
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"I like marriage. The idea."
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"The future is made of the same stuff as the present."
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"The present generation, wearied by its chimerical efforts, relapses into complete indolence. Its condition is that of a man who has only fallen asleep towards morning: first of all come great dreams, then a feeling of laziness, and finally a witty or clever excuse for remaining in bed."
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"One picture is worth 1,000 denials."
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"Democracy is worth dying for, because it's the most deeply honorable form of government ever devised by man."
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"Getting married is like trading in the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one."
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"I only read biographies, metaphysics and psychology. I can dream up my own fiction."
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"He who hesitates is a damned fool."
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"It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously"
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"It is always a silly thing to give advice, but to give good advice is absolutely fatal."
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"Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you're probably watching the wrong channel."
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"You're a great brother. You give us a heart attack worrying about your heart attack, which you didn't even have the decency to have!"
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"It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy."
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"I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position."
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"You have delighted us long enough."
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"A clever man commits no minor blunders."
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