"Death is an acquired trait."
Read quote
3 likes
Quote collection
Woody Allen quotes (page 34 of 41)
818 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
". . . they confuse everything I do with my life."
Read quote
3 likes
"This year I'm a star, but what will I be next year? A black hole?"
Read quote
3 likes
"Gauguin flew into a frenzy! He held my head under the X-ray machine for ten straight minutes and for several hours after I could not blink my eyes in unison." — "If The Impressionists Had Been Dentists"
Read quote
3 likes
"My relationship with American audiences is the exact same as it always has been. They never came to see my films, and they don't come now."
Read quote
3 likes
"What was the scandal? I fell in love with this girl, married her. We have been married for almost 15 years now."
Read quote
3 likes
"The best an idea gets is when its in your head."
Read quote
3 likes
"I've always liked, someday the lamb will lay by the lion.... but it won't get much sleep."
Read quote
3 likes
"My parents were very Old World. They come from Brooklyn, which is the heart of the Old World. Their values in life are God and carpeting."
Read quote
3 likes
"For God sakes, this is a woman I was married to for 10 years. We made love. I'd hold her head over the toilet bowl when she threw up."
Read quote
3 likes
"I loathed every day and regret every day I spent in school. I like to be taught to read and write and add and then be left alone."
Read quote
3 likes
"I like writing. It keeps my mind off grim subjects. It's therapeutic in the same way a patient in an institution is given fingerpaints."
Read quote
3 likes
"Music has always helped my films. In 'The Curse Of The Jade Scorpion,' you can hear 'Sunrise' by Glenn Miller, an idol of my childhood, in the surprise ending. I like mixing comedy with suspense and action."
Read quote
3 likes
"It figures you've got to hate yourself if you've got any integrity at all."
Read quote
3 likes
"Those who can't do, teach!"
Read quote
3 likes
"Then Job fell to his knees and cried to the Lord, "Thine is the kingdom and the power and glory. Thou hast a good job. Don't blow it.""
Read quote
3 likes
"More than at any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly. I speak, by the way, not with any sense of futility, but with a panicky conviction of the absolute meaninglessness of existence which could easily be misinterpreted as pessimism. It is not. It is merely a healthy concern for the predicament of modern man."
Read quote
3 likes
"Let's say there was a burning building and you could rush in and you could save only one thing: either the last known copy of Shakespeare's plays or some anonymous human being. What would you do?"
Read quote
3 likes
"You're a genius! And the proof is that both common people and intellectuals find your work completely incoherent."
Read quote
3 likes
"I don't mind dying... as long as I don't have to be there when it happens."
Read quote
3 likes