Quote collection
334 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"People basically aren't that racist. They want their laughs. If I make a white guy laugh, he's gonna come see me. He's not gonna go see the white guy who doesn't make him laugh just because that guy is white."
"There's not one reference in that thing that doesn't play. People deal with emotions in music all the time, but comedians are always talking about what they see. But we seldom talk about what we feel."
"A comedian has to live in his head. All this comedy comes from a lonely place. When you're surrounded by an entourage, you're not living in your head."
"I think anybody in front of a crowd is a comedian."
"My mother always says: "You know better, so you'll be punished. Your friends don't know better, so they won't be punished. They can go snatch chains and they'll be fine. But if you snatch chains, you'll end up in jail because you know better.""
"Black History Month is in the shortest month of the year, and the coldest-just in case we want to have a parade"
"See, the Black man gotta fly to get to something the white man can walk to."
"When you're doing a big-budget movie and you're four on the call sheet, you've got a lot of free time."
"The thing about having an audience right there laughing is that critics can write what they want, but the proof is right there in front of you."
"Men are only as unfaithful as their options."
"Before I was a comedian, I thought the coolest thing that would happen to me was being a teenager... Boy, was I wrong!"
"You got a gun, you don't have to work out."
"You don’t need no gun control, you know what you need? We need some bullet control. Men, we need to control the bullets, that’s right. I think all bullets should cost five thousand dollars… five thousand dollars per bullet… You know why? Cause if a bullet cost five thousand dollars there would be no more innocent bystanders."
"Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I'm famous."
"I love my life, but I don't think I'm any happier than my younger brother Andre, who drives a garbage truck."
"I'm happy if everybody else is. I'm a big brother, the oldest. If you're happy and I'm not, I'm cool with that. If I'm happy and you're not, I'm sad."
"The best part is just having a partner. There is no real worst part. I'm not going to say there's a worst part. I mean I'm a comedian - comedians like to work alone. So maybe I'm not the ideal guy to be married to, in that sense."
"No film critic's going to say it, but 'Madagascar 3' is better than 'The Artist.'"
"My first year on 'SNL', I made $90,000 dollars."
"Movies have takes. But plays are like life - you don't really get takes."