Quote collection
334 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"I never watched the Oscars. Come on, it's a fashion show . . . What straight black man sits there and watches the Oscars? Show me one. And they don't recognize comedy, and you don't see a lot of black people nominated, so why should I watch it?"
"My movies are okay, but they're not my specials."
"Stand-up is the only career like that where once you get really big at it, people kind of encourage you not to do it."
"Kids always act up the most before they go to sleep. And when I see the Tea Party and all this stuff, it actually feels like racism’s almost over. Because this is the last - this is the act up before the sleep. They’re going crazy. They’re insane. You want to get rid of them - and the next thing you know, they’re fucking knocked out. And that’s what’s going on in the country right now."
"The only acting you ever see at the Oscars is when people act like they’re not mad they lost. Nicole Kidman was smiling so wide, she should have won an Emmy at the Oscars for her great performance. I was like, "If you’d done that in the movie, you’d have won an Oscar, girl.""
"I think if I were to get as big as I could get, it does change your mind-state. I think like the little man. I think like the underdog. I don't want to change that."
"We got no wealthy black people. We got rich people. Shaq is rich. The guy who signs his checks is wealthy."
"They're working their way down. Next year, Todd Bridges gets the award. When I was a kid I wanted to be Eddie Murphy and now I'm a rip-off of Eddie Murphy."
"I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson."
"It's my real name. My mother's name is Rose Rock. It was the worst name as a kid to have. They called me Piece of the Rock, Plymouth Rock, Joe Rockid, and Flintstones. Now they call me Mister Rock."
"I'm a rap comedian the same way Bill Cosby is a jazz comedian, Cosby's laid back. I'm like, bang, bang bang, right into it."
"The only reaction that frightens me is people not laughing. It's extraordinary to me when you get a laugh. That you can go in front of a bunch of people you never met before, you can say some stuff and they all laugh in unison - that's amazing. It's a miracle."
"I like talking about subjects that aren't funny in the first place and making them funny. So anything down and depressing is something I'll talk about."
"I never had the confidence to say I was going to be in front of the camera as a comedian until I saw Eddie Murphy years later."
"Eddie Murphy is to comedians what Nicki Minaj is to Spanx."
"I was at Michael Jackson's house, and this kid runs out, 'Wait, save me!'"
"Women can have all the evidence but they still want the confession."
"When you meet somebody for the first time, you're not meeting them. You're meeting their representative."
"A lot of racism going on in the world right now. Who's more racist? Black people or white people? Black people. You know why? 'Cuz we hate black people too! Everything white people don't like about black people, black people really don't like about black people."
"We Americans commercialize everything. Look at what we did to Christmas. Christmas is Jesus' birthday. Now, I don't know Jesus, but from what I read he was the least materialistic person who ever walked the earth. No bling on Jesus. He kept a low profile and we turned his birthday into the most commercial day of the year. In fact we have a whole Jesus birthday season. And then at the end of it, we have the nerve to have an economist come on TV and say what a horrible Jesus birthday season we had."