"One man's Voltaire is another man's Screech."
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Quote collection
Dennis Miller quotes (page 8 of 13)
244 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"I think abortion's wrong, but it's none of my business to tell somebody what's wrong, he said. So I'm pro-choice. I want to keep my nose out of other people's personal business. I guess I fall into conservative when it comes to protecting the United States in a world where a lot of people hate the United States."
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"Now, personally, I am baffled by the concept of racial prejudice. Why hate someone based on the color of their skin when, if you take the time to get to know them as a human being, you can find so many other things to hate them for?"
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"How many of those dead animals you see on the highway are suicides?"
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"The Patriots deflated balls are but an allegory for America's deflated balls in dealings with Putin, the Mullahs in Iran, and Islamic terrorists."
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"Ah, Feminism in the nineties, what a What is yours what is mine field."
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"Growing up, my family wasn't very tight. We were more like a tour group with secrets."
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"At some point you cannot be the kid in the glass bubble in this world. You might've heard throughout your grade school and high school years that it was a safe, nice, warm, fair, feeling place... but it can get brutal when it gets competitive. Especially when you succeed. Watch the detractors come out of the walls at that point."
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"Most Americans will let liberals and conservatives play their games because most Americans don't pay attention."
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"Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to tell you the truth? Most of us are not going to care if they don't find these weapons of mass destruction. It's enough for a lot of us to see those kids smiling on that street again."
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"Dennis Kucinich's politics are more scrambled than Rod Steiger's dream journal."
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"By and large, I think it should be a rule in the teacher employment manual that you can't go attend any event where if you took your classroom on a student field trip, they would summarily be obliterated. That should be rule No. 1."
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"Laughter is one of the great beacons in life because we don't refract it by gunning it through our intellectual prism. What makes us laugh is a mystery - an involuntary response."
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"Homosexuals are entering the mainstream, because they're becoming as boring and as tedious as any other splinter group."
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"Concussion? How the hell can they tell? They're *football* players, for chrissakes!"
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"The American education system couldn't be more badly directed or poorly funded if the Secretary of Education were Ed Wood."
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"Is global warming new? I don't know. When I was young I remember the sun being hot."
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"Technology is fine. . ., but that popular vision of the future, where you plug somebody in and leave them there and they don't get out and interact with actual flesh-and-blood humans - you know the answer before I say it - that's not good."
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"I'll say this about the war protesters: At least most of them are only putting duct tape across their mouths so I can still tell the rest of them to blow it out their ass."
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"Americans stick their nose where it doesn't belong more than Cyrano de Bergerac giving head."
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