"Wow, you survived a blackout. You're made of stronger stuff than ice cream."
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Quote collection
Lewis Black quotes (page 7 of 14)
269 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"Now, most of the time you couldn't be too sure of the quality of the drug. Although, in my experience the stuff was always of a very high quality, because back then we didn't have business majors peddling lower-quality stuff in an effort to increase profits."
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"There's no reason to tweet when you are in the midst of a great moment; they are few and far between. So pay attention to it, as you probably won't see it again. You can always tweet later, if you're lucky enough to be part of history and you think 140 characters can do credit to someone like Martin Luther King or to the speech he made that day."
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"Johnny Vassilaros is the man who has created the finest cup of coffee ever served in the city of New York."
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"Writing is thinking and thinking is hard work."
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"The reason I like socialism is that it's kind of enforced Christianity. It's basically very Christian, in the sense of "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." These people have nothing, so you have to share."
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"He smiles so much, I don't think he has a central nervous system."
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"It's amazing what I could've written in my life if I had realized that I should keep writing and not masturbating."
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"Usually I'm too tired to apologize."
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"Glenn Beck has Nazi Tourettes'."
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"If you are an adult, and you are planning to dress up on Halloween... don't. I will find you. I will hurt you."
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"How long can we go without real leadership? It's like an experiment. It's [a problem with] both parties, it's beyond belief."
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"You look at my audience, and it proves what Congress thinks America is, is wrong. I get people across the political spectrum. Parents and kids come and they're all punked out, and there are these other guys in John Deere caps."
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"We don't have seasons anymore. You know why? We lost the ozone layer. Well, put it on milk cartons - let's find it!"
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"In New York, f*** isn't even a word. It's a comma."
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""Equestrian", by the by, is the gayest word in the English language. In fact, I thought Brokeback Mountain should have been called Two Equestrians."
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"I feel the need to scream, and even if the scream is not answered, I find my sanity in the echo."
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"I think the only reason you visit an Apple store is because you wonder what life is like on another planet."
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"You're on Facebook, and these people seem to have endless lives. I don't have time to live my life, let alone tell you what I'm doing, or post a photo."
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"I watch some CNN and a lot of Fox, because it helps me get irritated."
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