“Disco dancing is just the steady thump of a giant moron knocking in an endless nail.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 154 of 1263
“You work, you get paid, you drink.”
“I've sat on the hot seat and I felt its hotness”
“Everyone's going to have a racist tweet, a homophobic tweet, a xenophobic tweet, a misogynist tweet. Everyone's going to have a tweet or a post or something that's not going to be ideal, and because of that, you can't really throw stones too hard at the people that do, because if we examined your life in every way, shape, or form, went through every single post with a fine-toothed comb and under that microscope, would it come out all sunshine and lollipops?”
“The more 'otter it is, the more 'otter otters likes it”
“If I had all the money in the world, I'd still make movies. But I'd want them to pay me in donuts.”
“Don't take yourself too seriously. And take yourself as seriously as death itself.”
“Automatically thinking ‘everything that happens is God’s will’ is a lazy way to live. We live in a war. Jesus wasn’t fighting the Father’s will when He raised the dead.”
“Blondes make the best victims. They're like virgin snow that shows up the bloody footprints.”
“Drama is life with the dull bits cut out.”
“Racism oppresses its victims, but also binds the oppressors, who sear their consciences with more and more lies until they become prisoners of those lies. They cannot face the truth of human equality because it reveals the horror of the injustices they commit.”
“If people are making fun of you, then you're probably doing something right.”
“Language is the source of misunderstandings.”
“Petting is the study of the anatomy in braille.”
“The apple cannot be stuck back on the Tree of Knowledge; once we begin to see, we are doomed and challenged to seek the strength to see more, not less.”
“The tragedy of sexual intercourse is the perpetual virginity of the soul.”
“A modest little person, with much to be modest about.”
“The Times is speechless, and takes three columns to express its speechlessness.”
“Paranoia is knowing all the facts.”
“There are three rings involved with marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.”