“Life is like a Ferrari, it goes too fast. But that's ok, because you can't afford it anyway.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 181 of 1263
“I read that book Fat is a Feminist issue, got a bit desperate halfway through and ate it.”
“If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.”
“I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.”
“Possession isn't nine-tenths of the law. It's nine-tenths of the problem.”
“All violent feelings have the same effect. They produce in us a falseness in all our impressions of external things, which I would generally characterize as the pathetic fallacy.”
“No one wants to go out mid-sentence.”
“Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.”
“There's none so blind as they that won't see.”
“This is every cook's opinion - no savory dish without an onion, but lest your kissing should be spoiled your onions must be fully boiled.”
“If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.”
“I discovered a meal between breakfast and brunch.”
“Man is the sole animal whose nudities offend his own companions, and the only one who, in his natural actions, withdraws and hides himself from his own kind.”
“I started rooting - you know, sticking up joints - with some older guys. By now I had gotten a taste of what the racket world really was - the glamour, the way they dressed, the way they always had a pocketful of money.”
“Jenson Button is in the top ten, in eleventh position.”
“Life isn't nearly as sacred as the appreciation of passion.”
“Despite the protestations, one sometimes wonders if we are beginning to worship, worship rather than worship God.”
“That's the advantage of insomnia. People who go to be early always complain that the night is too short, but for those of us who stay up all night, it can feel as long as a lifetime. You get a lot done”
“I don't think I've ever met nachos that I didn't like before. It's almost inconceivable that nachos can be bad. It makes no sense.”
“The marvelous thing about lack of planning is that failure comes as a complete and utter surprise.”