“I think it's the real world. The people we're writing about in professional sports, they're suffering and living and dying and loving and trying to make their way through life just as the brick layers and politicians are.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 219 of 1263
“Today's game is always different from yesterday's game.”
“Parliament will train you to talk; and above all things to hear, with patience, unlimited quantities of foolish talk.”
“Some of my best friends are Venture Capitalists, but let's face it, a hamster with Alzheimer's could make those kind of numbers. It's great work if you can get it.”
“That 'writers write' is meant to be self-evident. People like to say it. I find it is hardly ever true. Writers drink. Writers rant. Writers phone. Writers sleep. I have met very few writers who write at all.”
“My wife's nagging is like living near the airport. After a while you don't notice it any more.”
“All the donuts have names that sound like prostitutes”
“The average person spends two weeks over their lifetime waiting for the traffic light to change.”
“If you can't be good, be loud.”
“We all sorely complain of the shortness of time, and yet have much more than we know what to do with. Our lives are either spent in doing nothing at all, or in doing nothing to the purpose, or in doing nothing that we ought to do. We are always complaining that our days are few, and acting as though there would be no end of them.”
“There is an old song which asserts 'the best things in life are free.' Not true! Utterly false! This was the tragic fallacy which brought on the decadence and collapse of the democracies of the twentieth century; those noble experiments failed because the people had been led to believe that they could simply vote for whatever they wanted...and get it without toil, without sweat, without tears. Nothing of value is free. Even the breath of life is purchased at birth only through gasping effort and pain.”
“Nothing very new. By taking good care of yourselves you are of service to me and my family as well as yourselves, no matter what you do, even if you don't think so at present. But if you neglect yourselves and are unwilling to live, as though following tracks, in accordance with what we now say and have said in the past too, then no matter how much or how seriously you agree with me at present you will accomplish next to nothing.”
“In our calling, we have to choose; we must make our fortune either in this world or in the next, there is no middle way.”
“Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.”
“I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.”
“Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?”
“What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?”
“Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.”
“My socks DO match. They're the same thickness.”
“In warfare, there are no constant conditions. He who can modify his tactics in relation to his opponent will succeed and win.”