“If you haven't got a sense of humor you're making your life a hundred times harder. It doesn't matter what happens to you, if you can have a laugh about it, and don't take yourself so serious, you have the battles halfway won.”
Funny feeling
Funny Quotes — page 221 of 1263
“The world was my oyster but I used the wrong fork.”
“What's funny is that there's a lot of great Australian actors in American movies but you don't often hear them do their Australian, original accent.”
“Freedom is like taking a bath: You got to keep doing it every day.”
“The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.”
“I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.”
“No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.”
“It's better to burn out, than to fade away.”
“You have to have been a Republican to know how good it is to be a Democrat.”
“Whoever had the bright idea of putting Indiana Jones in a leather jacket and a fedora in the jungle ought to be dragged into the street and shot.”
“Greed is an imperfection that defiles the mind; hate is an imperfection that defiles the mind; delusion is an imperfection that defiles the mind.”
“Poverty is the mother of crime.”
“Whenever I look at a mountain I always expect it to turn into a volcano.”
“I saw it written and I saw it say Pink moon is on its way And none of you stand so tall Pink Moon gonna get you all”
“I have loads of underwear, but only wear the bras because I never wear knickers.”
“Just because I'm showing somebody being disemboweled doesn't mean that I have to get heavy and put a message behind it.”
“I'll never get sick of zombies. I just get sick of producers.”
“I was in the Far East and I went into a restaurant and I ordered octopus and the waiter said: "It takes four hours." I asked why and he said: "It keeps turning off the gas."”
“I'm an atheist and I thank God for it.”
“The right to know is like the right to live. It is fundamental and unconditional in its assumption that knowledge, like life, is a desirable thing.”