"God was bored by him."
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Sarcastic quotes
Sarcastic
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Sarcastic quotes (page 18 of 46)
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"Sarcastic Science, she would like to know, In her complacent ministry of fear, How we propose to get away from here When she has made things so we have to go Or be wiped out. Will she be asked to show Us how by rocket we may hope to steer To some star off there, say, a half light-year Through temperature of absolute zero? Why wait for Science to supply the how When any amateur can tell it now? The way to go away should be the same As fifty million years ago we came- If anyone remembers how that was I have a theory, but it hardly does."
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"Good women are no fun... The only good woman I can recall in history was Betsy Ross. And all she ever made was a flag."
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"There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose."
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"Really, if the lower orders don't set a good example, what on earth is the use of them?"
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"I never play cricket. It requires one to assume such indecent postures."
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"America is one long expectoration."
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"Now that the House of Commons is trying to become useful, it does a great deal of harm."
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"Gee, what a terrific party. Later on we'll get some fluid and embalm each other."
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"It is a noteworthy fact that kicking and beating have played so considerable a part in the habits which necessity has imposed on mankind in past ages that the only way of preventing civilized men from beating and kicking their wives is to organize games in which they can kick and beat balls."
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"Creative semantics is the key to contemporary government; it consists of talking in strange tongues lest the public learn the inevitable inconveniently early."
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"Ants are so much like human beings as to be an embarrasment...They do everything but watch television."
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"What are the proper proportions of a maxim? A minimum of sound to a maximum of sense."
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"Had double chins all the way down to his stomach."
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"Germany, the diseased world's bathhouse."
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"When ideas fail, words come in very handy."
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"She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on with a pitchfork."
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"Now, because he knows that his economic theories don't work, he's been spending these last few days calling me every name in the book. Lately he's called me a socialist for wanting to roll-back the Bush tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans so we can finally give tax relief to the middle class. I don't know what's next. By the end of the week he'll be accusing me of being a secret communist because I shared my toys in kindergarten. I shared my peanut butter and jelly sandwich."
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"He's so snobbish he has an unlisted zip-code."
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"Perfume: any smell that is used to drown a worse one."
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