"People always tell me "Have a nice day." Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?"
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Sarcastic quotes
Sarcastic
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Sarcastic quotes (page 5 of 46)
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"So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family."
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"'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?"
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"I grew up as a very sarcastic person. I was always the class clown, and to date girls I had to be really funny. I was really skinny growing up."
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"The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity."
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"I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions."
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"By giving us the opinions of the uneducated, journalism keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community."
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"Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits."
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"People do not deserve to have good writing, they are so pleased with bad."
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"Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months."
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"Golf is a good walk spoiled."
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"I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."
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"You know you're getting old when everything hurts. And what doesn't hurt doesn't work."
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"Arguments are extremely vulgar, for everybody in good society holds exactly the same opinions."
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"Debating against him is no fun, say something insulting and he looks at you like a whipped dog."
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"I don't know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn't."
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"McDonald's being the official restaurant of the Olympics is like smoking being the official medicine of cancer."
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"Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious."
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"A great empire, like a great cake, is most easily diminished at the edges."
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"If you pretend to be good, the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend to be bad, it doesn't. Such is the astounding stupidity of optimism."
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