"The creed of the Inland Revenue is simple: "If we can bring one little smile to one little face today, then somebody's slipped up somewhere.""
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Witty quotes
Witty
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Witty quotes (page 21 of 71)
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"Your wits make others witty."
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"The first thing men notice about a woman is her eyes. Then, when her eyes aren't looking, they notice her breasts."
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"My mother was against me being an actress - until I introduced her to Frank Sinatra."
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"Were kisses all the joys in bed, One woman would another wed."
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"And my parents finally realize I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They rent out my room."
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"The last woman I was in was the Statue of Liberty."
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"If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever."
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"The discovery of the good taste of bad taste can be very liberating. The man who insists on high and serious pleasures is depriving himself of pleasure; he continually restricts what he can enjoy; in the constant exercise of his good taste he will eventually price himself out of the market, so to speak. Here Camp taste supervenes upon good taste as a daring and witty hedonism. It makes the man of good taste cheerful, where before he ran the risk of being chronically frustrated. It is good for the digestion."
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"I've no idea where ideas come from and I hope I never find out; it would spoil the excitement for me if it turned out I just have a funny little wrinkle on the surface of my brain which makes me think about invisible train platforms."
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"I made myself platinum, but I was born a dirty blonde."
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"I saw what a mess a lot of people could make of their lives when they're smitten. Some of them go temporarily insane. They find a person who they think holds the key to their happiness-the only key to their happiness... My work has always been my greatest happiness"
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"I think it would be a good idea."
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"I like persons better than principles, and I like persons with no principles better than anything else in the world."
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"It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating."
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"The witty woman is a tragic figure in American life. Wit destroys eroticism and eroticism destroys wit, so women must choose between taking lovers and taking no prisoners."
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"What is perfectly true is perfectly witty."
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"I'm kidding about having only a few dollars. I might have a few dollars more."
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"A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic."
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"I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same 50% rate. Half the time I get what I want, half the time I don't... Same as the four-leaf clover and the horseshoe...same as the Voodoo Lady who tells you your fortune by squeezing the goat's testicles, it's all the same: 50-50. So just pick your superstition, sit back, make a wish, and enjoy yourself."
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