"To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel."
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Witty quotes
Witty
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Witty quotes (page 23 of 71)
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"Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did."
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"I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television."
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"I'm all for bringing back the birch, but only between consenting adults."
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"If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again."
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"Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication"
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"There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else."
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"Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'."
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"Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses."
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"I didn't like parties.I didn't know how to dance and people frightened me, especially people at parties. They attempted to be sexy and gay and witty and although they hoped they were good at it, they weren 't. They were bad at it. Their trying so hard only made it worse."
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"He would make a lovely corpse."
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"So heavy is the chain of wedlock that it needs two to carry it, and sometimes three."
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"Howard Zinn was magical as a teacher. Witty, irreverent, and wise, he loved what he was teaching and clearly wanted his students to love it, also."
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"I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known."
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"The English never draw a line without blurring it."
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"When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite."
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"Those who can't do, teach. And those who can't teach, teach gym."
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"The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence."
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"I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member."
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"I’m going to kill myself. I should go to Paris and jump off the Eiffel Tower. I’ll be dead. you know, in fact, if I get the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier, which would be perfect. Or wait a minute. It -- with the time change, I could be alive for six hours in New York but dead three hours in Paris. I could get things done, and I could also be dead."
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