"Showing up is 80 percent of life."
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Quote collection
Woody Allen quotes (page 22 of 41)
818 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats. (On the KKK)"
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"Subjectivity is objective."
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"Meanwhile, the minute you put on the dotted line your Sam Hancock - and before a notary - you'll not only get the negative but Elsie makes a wonderful stuffed cabbage which we'll include gratis a few portions but return the jars please."
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"He's a politician. That's a notch below child molester."
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"For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath a pedestal."
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"I have no idea what I am doing but incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm."
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"Don't think of death as an ending. Think of it as a really effective way of cutting down your expenses."
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"I'm a teleological, existential agnostic."
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"My brain? It's my second favorite organ!"
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"Once munching has begun, Schopenhauer held, the human will cannot resist further munching, and the result is a universe with crumbs over everything."
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"I had a mad impulse to throw you down on the lunar surface and commit interstellar perversion with you."
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"You can't control life. It doesn't wind up perfectly. Only-only art you can control. Art and masturbation. Two areas in which I am an absolute expert."
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"Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue."
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"Achilles only had an Achilles heel, I have an entire Achilles body."
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"In the shower, with the hot water coming down, you've left the real world behind, and very frequently things open up for you. It's the change of venue, the unblocking the attempt to force the ideas that's crippling you when you're trying to write."
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"You'll find as you go through life that great depth and smoldering sensuality don't always win."
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"Sentence structure is innate, but whining is acquired."
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"I can't with any conscience argue for New York with anyone. It's like Calcutta. But I love the city in an emotional, irrational way, like loving your mother or your father even though they're a drunk or a thief. I've loved the city my whole life - to me, it's like a great woman."
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"I don't like theatrical actors and actresses. I like people that talk like real human beings."
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