"I was a nervous child, I was a bedwetter. I used to sleep with an electric blanket and I was constantly electrocuting myself."
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Quote collection
Woody Allen quotes (page 6 of 41)
818 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"There will be no major solution to the suffering of humanity until we reach some understanding of who we are, what the purpose of creation was, what happens after death. Until those questions are resolved we are caught."
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"Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love."
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"Is it better to be the lover or the loved one? Neither, if your cholesterol is over six hundred. By love, of course, I refer to romantic love -- the love between man and woman, rather than between mother and child, or a boy and his dog, or two headwaiters."
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"Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it."
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"I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage is being able to make a right turn on a red light."
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"I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social."
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"Man cannot live by bread alone. Every once in awhile he needs a salad."
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"he's a genius, she's a genius, wow, you know alot of geniuses, you should meet some stupid people sometime, you might learn something"
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"What' s the matter with me? Why can't I be cool?"
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"There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?"
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"I think universal harmony is a pipedream and it may be more productive to focus on more modest goals, like a ban on yodeling."
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"Until you've been kissed on a rainy Parisian afternoon - you've never been kissed."
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"My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers."
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"I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!"
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"The only thing standing between me and greatness is me."
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"I'm at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me I'm profoundly grateful to her."
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"Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right."
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"I see the glass half full...but of poison."
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"Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons."
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