"When you are dead, it is hard to find the light switch."
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Quote collection
Woody Allen quotes (page 7 of 41)
818 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"Over the years I've never written or made movies about political themes 'cause while they do have current critical importance, in the large, large scheme of things, only the big questions matter and the answers to those big questions are very, very depressing."
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"My ex-wife was a philosophy major at NYU. Yeah, she and I used to have deep philosophical discussions where she would prove that I didn't exist."
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"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness."
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"Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down."
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"I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers."
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"My relationship with death remains the same - I'm strongly against it."
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"Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon."
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"If my soul exists without my body I am convinced all my clothes will be loose-fitting"
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"I foresee death by culture shock."
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"Don't worry, I know almost exactly what I'm doing."
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"I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose."
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"You can learn technological things, you can learn about specific things, but the real problems that people deal with in any subject, existential subjects or romantic subjects, you never learn anything. So you make a fool of yourself when you're 20, you make a fool of yourself at 40, at 60 at 80. The ancient Greeks were dealing with these problems. They screwed up all the time. People do now."
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"I hope you're getting this down."
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"No matter what the shrinks, or the pundits, or the self-help books tell you, when it comes to love, it's luck."
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"I'm so excited-I think today I'm going to brush all my teeth."
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"Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast."
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"I'm a nice person! I have healthy life drives and goals! I don't drink, I don't smoke. I would never force myself sexually on a blind person!"
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"Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen."
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"Those modern analysts, they charge so much! In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you. For ten marks he would treat you and press your pants. For fifteen marks Freud would let you treat him - that included a choice of any two vegetables."
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