Woody Allen

Woody Allen

Director, Actor, Writer

Woody Allen is a renowned filmmaker and writer known for his unique blend of comedy and drama, particularly in films like 'Annie Hall'.

Funny Witty Thinking People Humorous Humor
Born
December 1, 1935
Quotes
818
Rank
#386

Quote collection

Woody Allen quotes (page 5 of 41)

818 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.

Woody Allen Director, Actor, Writer
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"I keep wondering if there is an afterlife, and if there is will they be able to break a twenty?"

Afterlife Twenties Able
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Woody Allen Director, Actor, Writer
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"I idolized Superman when I was younger. I thought he and I had a lot in common. He was always going into phonebooths and taking off all his clothes."

Clothes Common Idolized
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Woody Allen Director, Actor, Writer
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"I failed to make the chess team because of my height."

Funny Team Chess Game
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Woody Allen Director, Actor, Writer
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"Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with."

Witty Falling In Love Humorous
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Woody Allen Director, Actor, Writer
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"If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans."

Life Laughter Hipster
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Woody Allen Director, Actor, Writer
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"Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately, no one we know belongs."

Evil Groups Knows
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Woody Allen Director, Actor, Writer
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"I was in analysis for years because of a traumatic childhood; I was breast-fed through falsies."

Years Childhood Analysis
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Woody Allen Director, Actor, Writer
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"There are three rings involved with marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering."

Suffering Three Engagement
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Woody Allen Director, Actor, Writer
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"Even if God exists, he's done such a terrible job, it's a wonder people don't get together and file a class action suit against him."

God Jobs Class
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Woody Allen Director, Actor, Writer
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"[The universe is] haphazard, morally neutral, and unimaginably violent."

Violent Haphazard Universe
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Woody Allen Director, Actor, Writer
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"My success has allowed me to strike out with a higher class of women."

Funny Success Class
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Woody Allen Director, Actor, Writer
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"I know what I think but I don't know how to put it into words. Maybe I could get a little bit drunk and dance it for you."

Thinking Drunk Littles
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Woody Allen Director, Actor, Writer
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"Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down."

Movie Love Suffering Unhappy
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Woody Allen Director, Actor, Writer
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"I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear."

Funny Death Believe
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Woody Allen Director, Actor, Writer
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"Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad."

Funny Life Mushrooms
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Woody Allen Director, Actor, Writer
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"I'm afraid of the dark,and suspicious of the light."

Funny Hilarious Witty
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Woody Allen Director, Actor, Writer
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"Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful; provided you get between the right man and the right woman."

Sex Men Wonderful
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