"Go, and never darken my towels again"
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Quote collection
Groucho Marx quotes (page 12 of 16)
319 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff."
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"In France, for example, it is not unusual for a husband to have a wife and a mistress. However, if in addition to these two he's also having a fling with a fringe tootsie, both the wife and the mistress are outraged and the combination lover, husband, and cheat may well wind up with a large French bread knife between his ribs."
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"My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something."
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"But what makes wage slaves? Wages!"
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"One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife."
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"If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong."
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"Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket"
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"My plans are still in embryo, a town on the edge of wishful thinking."
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"Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did."
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"It isn't so much that hard times are coming; the change observed is mostly soft times going."
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"Only if the computers really love each other."
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"Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does."
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"I'm gonna put extra blankets, free, in all your rooms, and there'll be no cover charge."
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"Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!"
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"You're heading for a breakdown. Why don't you pull yourself to pieces?"
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"You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?"
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"John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight."
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"Madam, you're making history, in fact, you're making me, and I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself"
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"Do they allow tipping on the boat? - Yes, sir. Have you got two fives? - Oh, yes, sir. Then you won't need the ten cents I was going to give you."
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