"TV is the rat race of the century."
Read quote
6 likes
Quote collection
Groucho Marx quotes (page 14 of 16)
319 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"The Two Most Important Words In The World Are Honesty And Sincerity, If You Can Fake These You've Got It Made."
Read quote
5 likes
"I would never join a country club with standards so low as to allow me as a member."
Read quote
5 likes
"Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!"
Read quote
5 likes
"I am a man and you are a woman. I can't think of a better arrangement."
Read quote
5 likes
"Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood"
Read quote
5 likes
"I'd have liked to have gone to bed with Jean Harlow. She was a beautiful broad. The fellow who married her was impotent and he killed himself. I would have done the same thing."
Read quote
5 likes
"We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife."
Read quote
5 likes
"If he's been married for 31 years, he's not the same man."
Read quote
5 likes
"Gerald Ford was unknown throughout America. Now he's unknown throughout the world."
Read quote
5 likes
"That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight."
Read quote
5 likes
"Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor."
Read quote
5 likes
"This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if she had never gotten dressed at all this book would never have been written."
Read quote
4 likes
"Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life"
Read quote
4 likes
"Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married."
Read quote
4 likes
"I'm not going to pay good money to join a club that lets in people like me."
Read quote
4 likes
"Making love to your wife is like shooting at sitting ducks."
Read quote
4 likes
"Would you mind getting off that fly paper and giving the flies a chance?" "Ahhh, you can't trick me! Flies don't read papers!"
Read quote
4 likes
"All geniuses die young."
Read quote
4 likes
"Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish I could write a real sexy book that would be barred from the mails. Apparently nothing whets a reader's appetite for literature more than the news that the author has been thrown into a federal pokey for disturbing the libido of millions of Americans."
Read quote
4 likes