"Was that you or the duck?"
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Quote collection
Groucho Marx quotes (page 11 of 16)
319 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people."
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"It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa"
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"No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend."
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"I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me"
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"The only game I like to play is "Old Maid", providing she's not too old"
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"If you were a man, you'd go into business for yourself. I know a fellow who started out last year with just a canoe. Now he's got more women than you can shake a stick at, if that's your idea of a good time."
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"There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit... Retire!"
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"Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you're probably watching the wrong channel."
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"I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30."
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"You're a great brother. You give us a heart attack worrying about your heart attack, which you didn't even have the decency to have!"
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"No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend."
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"It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy."
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"You get a canoe later and I'll paddle you."
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"Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor."
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"The admission fee was a viper's tongue and a half-concealed stiletto. It was a sort of intellectual slaughterhouse."
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"Hey you! I told you to slow that nag down! Because of you, I almost heard the opera!"
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"I hate London when it's not raining."
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"The foods that are recommended today are as palatable as a steady diet of wet blotters."
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"How would you like to feel the way she looks?"
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