Quote collection
319 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you've triumphed. Somebody once said it's what you dont see you're interested in, and this is true."
"Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances. (Either that, or my luck's terrible.)"
"I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book. ANOTHER VERSION I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. ANOTHER VERSION I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book."
"Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!"
"Home is where you hang your head."
"Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy."
"Thirteen at a table is unlucky only, when the hostess has only twelve chops."
"If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again."
"Growing old is something you do if you're lucky."
"I love to read. My education is self-inflicted"
"Oh, are you from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah-He used to live in whales for a while"
"I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members."
"Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication"
"I must confess, I was born at a very early age."
"I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right."
"Mr.Blank's reputation as a card shark had preceded him. No one accused him of being dishonest, but on the other hand no one accused him of being honest."
"A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five."
"I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove"
"My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one."
"Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does."