Quote collection
319 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"Love had forged ahead so swiftly that in no time it had displaced agriculture as the leading industry of the period. To anyone who has tried both, this wont come as much of a surprise."
"I'm not much of a correspondent. My letters are not only uninteresting but sparse. I'm glad I don?t have to write for a living. It?s arduous work and the money is very uncertain. On those rare occasions when I wander into a bookstore it amazes me to see the avalanche of literature and semi-literature that is turned out weekly in this country. The people who write these things are either desperate for money or love starved. Why should anyone on a nice balmy day lock oneself in an office and hit a typewriter for hours on end. I think one of the greatest pleasures in the world is not writing."
"With the possible exception of clothes, beauty salons and Frank Sinatra, there are few subjects all women agree upon."
"The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract-- Look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?"
"Send two dozen roses to Room 424 and put "Emily, I love you" on the back of the bill."
"I'll teach you to kick me...' You don't need to teach me--I already know how!"
"Every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read."
"I hope they bury me near a strait man"
"I don't know. When I was born there was a nurse taking care of me." "What's the matter? Couldn't the nurse take care of herself?" "Sure she could. I just found that out too late."
"Here lies Groucho Marx and Lies and Lies and Lies P.S. He never kissed an ugly girl."
"Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world."
"Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made."
"I write by ear. I tried writing with the typewriter, but I found it too unwieldy"
"I don't want to join the kind of a club that accepts people like me as members."
"Now that you're Secretary of War, what kind of an army do you think we ought to have?"
"Hey, when I said work fast, I didn't mean your friend, I meant the maid."
"I think that the Peeps or Peppies or Pipes diaries would be much more popular had there been a universal pronuncation of his name."
"He thinks I look alike!"
"That's bad luck: three on a midget. From "At The Circus"
"Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week."