"One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!"
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Quote collection
Groucho Marx quotes (page 8 of 16)
319 quotes — follow a thought to its full quote page.
"I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining."
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"I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract."
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"There was no need to inform us of the protocol involved. We were from Chicago and knew all about cement."
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"Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?"
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"I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks."
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"Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?"
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"I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty."
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"No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early."
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"With a little study you'll go a long ways, and I wish you'd start now"
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"I shall drink no # wine before it's time! OK, it's time."
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"Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo."
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"Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!"
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"The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution - this everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these depths."
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"If they'd lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I'd settle here until the next earthquake."
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"The months before my son was born, I used to yell from night to morn, 'Whatever it is, I'm against it! No matter what it is or who commenced it, I'm against it!'"
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"Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough."
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"You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar."
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"Mrs. Teasdale congratulates him on his coronation and sovereignty: "The eyes of the world are upon you. Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you." Firefly replies: "Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more.""
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"I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while."
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