"I bought these shoes in Taiwan, and they said in the inside "made around the corner.""
Read quote
8 likes
Humor quotes
Humor
3.8K quotes on this topic — from poets, philosophers, and thinkers across history.
Explore further
Topics related to Humor
Browse quotes that often appear alongside humor — connected by shared ideas and recurring themes.
Quote collection
Humor quotes (page 36 of 192)
Follow a thought to its author, or read the full quote page.
"So I rang up British Telecom, I said 'I want to report a nuisance caller', he said 'Not you again'."
Read quote
8 likes
"Let a short Act of Parliament be passed, placing all street musicians outside the protection of the law, so that any citizen may assail them with stones, sticks, knives, pistols or bombs without incurring any penalties."
Read quote
8 likes
"God bless the homicidal maniacs. They make life worthwhile."
Read quote
8 likes
"Have you ever noticed that the lawyer always smiles more than the client?"
Read quote
8 likes
"Why don't they have waiters in waiting rooms?"
Read quote
8 likes
"There is wisdom in turning as often as possible from the familiar to the unfamiliar: it keeps the mind nimble, it kills prejudice, and it fosters humor."
Read quote
8 likes
"The foods that are recommended today are as palatable as a steady diet of wet blotters."
Read quote
8 likes
"Television is a medium because anything well done is rare."
Read quote
8 likes
"All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is the echo of forgotten laughter."
Read quote
8 likes
"The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when one asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer."
Read quote
8 likes
"Then there was the man who declared in court, he wasn't a person. "Excuse me, sir, why haven't you paid your taxes." "Well, as you can clearly see, I am not a person." "Well, you look like a person." "No it's all done with mirrors, trust me!""
Read quote
8 likes
"Who knew that the devil had a factory where he made millions of fossils, which his minions distributed throughout the earth, in order to confuse my tiny brain?"
Read quote
8 likes
"It was the coldest winter ever! I thought last winter was the coldest winter ever, but I was wrong now wasn't I? You see because I travel all the time. So last winter, I'd be in the midwest, and the blizzard would hit. And then I'd fly home, and the blizzard would hit again!"
Read quote
8 likes
"Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost."
Read quote
8 likes
"Humor is the great thing, the saving thing after all. The minute it crops up, all our hardnesses yield, all our irritations, and resentments flit away, and a sunny spirit takes their place."
Read quote
8 likes
"The lure of the distant and the difficult is deceptive. The great opportunity is where you are."
Read quote
8 likes
"We need not invite the Devil to our table; he is too ready to come without being asked. The air all about us is filled with demons."
Read quote
8 likes
"Sin cannot tear you away from him [Christ] even though you commit adultery a hundred times a day and commit as many murders."
Read quote
8 likes
"Somebody figured it out- we have 35 million laws trying to enforce Ten Commandments."
Read quote
7 likes